Life of a moose
In my writing club, I had the “privilege” of choosing the Moose for my topic. Until then, I didn’t know anything about the moose. Looking at the picture, It resembled a cow all gone wrong. To start with, the horns were huge and curved in different directions. It looked out of place and I wondered how it could ever use them to fight. Locking horns would definitely be literal for the moose. I think I am more of a cow girl, with normal horns, short and pointed.
My life this past month has certainly been like the mooses’ horn, all over the place. It seemed everything that could have gone wrong, did. Was it our business, my health, an accident with my car, the finances!! The list was just endless. The crème de la crème started with my mammogram in January. I got the results which said said they had seen “something”. The letter was urgent and invited me for an immediate biopsy. My mind started racing.
I went numb and felt completely detached from it. It was like an out of body experience. It didn’t feel like it was happening to me. I carried on like a zombie, office, gym, Church, husband, my phone, watching crime on TV, grilled some chicken etc. Eventually reality began to sink in. I might die. It could be cancer. What would happen to my family. I thought about my children. I thought about my daughter. I thought about her growing up without a mum. Who would guide her in life? I thought about my husband. It would devastate him. I heard him praying one night saying “Lord, I still need her”. I thought about my boys, perfect gentlemen. We were such a close family. I thought about my mum having to bury a second child in three years.
To be honest I wasn’t too scared. I knew where I would go after death. I was secure in my faith. Part of my problem was I wasn’t sure if my boys had made a true commitment concerning their faith. I wasn’t sure and that disturbed me a lot. As parents who were pastors, we had done our best. At certain moments, you wonder if indeed you had done your best. You think, maybe I should have prayed and fasted more for them, maybe I should have made them do “this” or “that” more. Maybe we should have had more Bible study. A lot of maybes! I’m sure the moose in my picture wouldn’t have all these problems, probably just how not to get its massive horns tangled in a tree. Yeah, what kind of problems keep the moose’ awake at night?
I went in for my biopsy. They injected the spot and sucked out the suspect tissue. After the tests, they said they would need to evacuate the area. On the day, I was strapped on my side and pedalled upwards towards the wonder machine. In one hour, it was all over. Unfortunately I had bled too much and couldn’t undergo the required x-ray. They said I would do it at my next appointment. Everything went well the following week. I got my pink discharge certificate and left. I thank God for His mercies and for a second chance. Not everyone has been as lucky as I have been.