Girls in Rivers
Nineteen year old Saba was madly in love. She only had eyes for her fiancé Qaiser, a soft spoken gentleman whom she had known since she was fifteen. Living in a conservative culture, most of their contact had been over the phone. They could speak for hours and had met only a couple of times in four years. Her father was fully aware of their relationship and was involved in the planning of the wedding. They couldn’t have been happier! They had lived all their lives in Gujranwala, a town of about five million people in Pakistan.
Out of the blue, her uncle dropped a bombshell. The wedding was being called off because Qaiser was not of their class. They were of a poorer and lower status. His preferred choice for her would be his brother in-law. Saba was heartbroken and could not be comforted. She quickly called Qaiser and her in-laws to inform them. A plan was immediately hatched which saw Saba leave home at the crack of dawn the next day. The two found a court that morning and secretly got married. They couldn’t have been happier as they held their breath waiting. A few hours later, her dad and uncle came for her. She needed to come home to uphold the family honour. Qaiser would need to come and collect her honourably from the family home. Saba was a little sceptical but quickly gave in when her dad and uncle placed their hands on the Koran and swore. She knew them to be honourable men.
The trip home was not as she had expected. As soon as they were out of sight, her uncle began hitting and slapping her. How could she bring such dishonour to the family? The car stopped and she was dragged out forcibly and thrown to the ground. Saba was screaming and begging for her life. She knew what was to come. Her uncle clutched her neck and fired the gun. It was over. She was bundled into a big bag and thrown into the river.
It is estimated that more than a thousand women are killed every year in Pakistan by male relatives. Their offence of dishonouring their families is only punishable by death. This doesn’t just happen in Pakistan. In 1982 Berlin, Miss Hatun Sürücü was murdered by her three brothers in an honour killing. She had been forced into a marriage with her cousin at the age of 16. She fled the marriage after the birth of her son and sought refuge in a home for underage mothers. She worked hard to become independent and trained to be an Electrician. She had also caught the eye of a German man whom she had been dating. This had enraged her family and the final outcome was her death in a bid to uphold the honour of her family.
In the UK, Shafilea Iftikhar of Pakistani origin, aged 17 was also murdered in an honour killing. Her family lived in Warrington, Cheshire and Shafilea was accused of being too “westernised”. She had been born in the UK, gone to school in the UK, lived all her life in UK and was still accused of being too “westernised”. She dressed and behaved like an average teenager in England. On a family holiday to Pakistan in 2003, she had refused an arranged marriage with a suitor, rather preferring to drink a bottle of bleach in a suicide attempt.
On their return, her father explained to the doctors that she had mistaken it for a bottle of orange juice. This incident caused very grievous damage to her throat. Shafilea eventually disappeared on September the 11th 2003 when her teachers reported her missing from school. She has never been seen ever since. Her badly decomposed dismembered body was later found in the River Kent Her parents were arrested for it.
Like Shafilea, Saba was also thrown into the river after being shot in the head and arm. Her uncle fortunately had narrowly missed the mark because she had jerked her head. She was able to struggle out of the river, crawling towards the glimmering lights in the distance. Saba was a bloody mess with half her face destroyed by the bullet. Some good Samaritans took her to the nearest hospital where she was given the help she needed. The Police were notified and the perpetrators promptly arrested.
Saba eventually began to heal and was reunited with her in-laws. Although her father and uncle had been apprehended, the judicial system was not in her favour. One of two things could happen. He could be sentenced to five years in prison for attempted murder and upon his release, finally succeed in killing her or she could “forgive” him and probably save her life. Honour killings are generally not treated as murders in Pakistan as the law permits the relatives of victims to “forgive” the accused. The killers would then be acquitted.
Saba wanted to live and so decided to “forgive” her father and uncle in court. Her in-laws and the elders of the community had advised her to choose the path of forgiveness. She was unsure of what the future held and was constantly in fear for her life. Although forgiven and released from Jail, her father believed his action had restored some measure of honour to the family. There was a new found respect because his community had seen his ruthless commitment to upholding the family honour. The rest of his daughters were also getting marriage proposals from respectable young men around. He was comforted because the family honour was still “intact”.
In conclusion, Saba quietly said “they were all still unforgiven”. She still had not forgotten all the trauma they had put her through. One of her few comforts was that she was expecting her first baby and that she had made peace with her mother. The concept of Honour Killing does not make sense to me. Is life so cheap? Is the life of a female child so cheap? Can a man not find his worth and honour in himself rather than in the performance of his female children? I’m still looking for answers.
This is a true story. It was presented as a documentary in 2015 by Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy. It is entitled “A Girl in the River”- The Power of Forgiveness.
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